Thursday, January 04, 2007

So, I'm an emotional girl

I am a very emotional girl. I laugh out loud several times a day. I get overly excited about fun things. I cry in movies. We went to see Rocky the other day with my parents and there was a scene where Rocky was having a pep talk with his son and I was just sobbing! I feel emotions with my total being. Its quite embarrassing sometimes. But its just who I am. I tend to embrace others' joy and their pain and take it on as my own. So this week as my dearest friend has been suffering with pain due to post surgical complications I have really been on an emotional rollercoaster. Although I know I am not struggling like she is, like her family is, I can feel her pain deep in my soul. In order not to let her know how much I am hurting for them, I tend to overcompensate. "Oh! you are just doing great!" "I'm So proud of you for being so brave!" " I'm so very happy to see you're feeling better!!" I think sometimes I come across as being fake but that is not my intention at all. What I really want to say is "I love you so much and I am hurting right here along with you."or "I'm so worried about you that I can't sleep at night." or "Don't you dare scare me like this again!" Things that I can't really say because I know she needs to feel encouragement from me right now. So, I put on my happy face and pray behind closed doors that everything will be okay. Then maybe later, when I am not feeling so emotional, we can talk about it. 'when I'm not feeling so emotional' yeah right, did I mention that I am a very emotional girl?

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