weight watchers

I'm quitting Weight Watchers for about the fifteenth time tomorrow. It's a waste of money since I don't really follow the plan. I know what to do. Why I don't just do it I have no idea. I have lost 18# since October which is nothing to sniff at but I went to the gyn last week and I am only 5 pounds less than I was exactly 1 year ago. Go figure. Hundreds of dollars later, constant dieting and only a net loss of 5 pounds. I should have listened to Leeann.

“Few things in the world are more powerful than a positive push. A smile. A word of optimism and hope. And you can do it when things are tough.”--Richard M Devos

It's amazing what 60 extra milligrams of Geodon can do for a person in just a matter of days. I have been thinking a lot about my blessed life today. I am more blessed than I deserve to be and happier ( except for brief episodes of craziness) than I have ever been.

total awesomeness.

Retirement...or not

Rick and I had been planning for years that we would retire in 2015. Then a few years ago, he said that he would retire in 2015 but that he still wanted me to work 1-2 days per week. Ok... Then a couple of years ago, he said he would retire in 2015 and I still had to work 2-3 days a week for 5 years. Ok...Then yesterday, he told me that no, he wasn't going to retire in 2015. He was going to wait to retire for another 10 years. Which means I will have to continue to work, doing what I am doing, for another 10 years. The thought of this makes me very sad. I don't think I can do what I am doing for 10 more years. I just can't. So now I am busy thinking about other plans.

I understand where Rick is coming from, I do. And I will be supportive of whatever he thinks we should do. I don't have to like it though. I need to figure something else out.

Now what?

That's a an exasperated sigh. I'm exasperated with myself. That's a sigh of relief. I'm relieved I did so well at Disney. That's an 'I'm tired' sigh. That's an 'I don't want to do anything' sigh. That's an 'oh my gosh' sigh.

So I have been home from Disney one week today. I have only worked out one day since then. I just can't seem to get myself to the gym. I feel like I have lost my fitness mojo. I don't get it. I was so gung-ho before and now I can't even get out of bed in the morning. It's a bad cycle I've gotten into. I don't feel like getting out of bed to go to the gym because I am too tired. But I am too tired because I'm not getting any exercise. And round and round it goes.

I must make a new goal. I. Must. Get. Out. of. Bed. in the mornings.

3:21...Disney Princess Half Marathon

I think 3:21 is awesome. I was so afraid we wouldn't make the 3:30 requirements. But we did and there were no sweepers in sight! We could have done better but about mile 8 my aunt Pam started complaining that her foot was hurting. She said she felt like she was running on a nut. It didn't get better so about mile 9 we decided to just walk. It seemed okay though because at that point most everybody was walking. It was actually so crowded that it was hard to run at that point with everyone walking.

I just have to say that this was one of the most incredible experiences I have ever had. The whole weekend we were surrounded by happy, positive women. It was totally uplifting. Most women were dressed up in tutus or costumes. Disney just knows how to do it right.

We were in the last corral. Corral F. I was so worried we were going to get swept that I made sure we were right at the front of the corral. We had to be at Epcot by 4 and in our corrals by 5 so I was very sleepy. While we were waiting in our corrals, I sat down to wait because I was so sleepy and the next thing I know they are playing the national anthem. I woke up and looked up and everyone but me was standing. How embarrassing. Then the corrals were released in waves. The fairy godmother would say a few words then she would wave her wand and sprinkle fairy dust and the fireworks would go off and everyone in that corral would start. We saw that 6 times and I was just crying because it was so magical.

When it was our turn, Aunt Pam shot out of the corral like a greyhound. I kept up with her for about 10 minutes and then I was like, wait a minute, this isn't how i trained. So I slowed down and started doing my intervals. She slowed down with me and we got into a good pace. It was so awesome. There were characters all along the way and musicians too. Pam was so anxious about making good time that she didn't want to stop and take pictures. That is one thing I regret. Next time I am definitely stopping at least to see Cinderella and Mickey and Minnie.

We did stop in the Magic Kingdom to snap a photo. Everyone knows how I feel about Disney. It's my most favorite place on earth. When we ran down Main Street, I had tears coming down my face. The music was playing, the crowds were cheering, Minnie and Mickey were there. We ran through Tomorrowland and back behind and through the castle and then out through Liberty Square and Frontierland and out of the park. I cried the whole way except that I was sure to smile for the cameras. :) Aunt Pam doesn't really get my proclivity for Disney so she was like ummmm. I think she was having quite a bit of pain even then and wasn't really enjoying it.

So we kept running. We got to this onramp in which we had to go up a big hill and it sort of curved around to become a bridge over the road we had just been on. This was at about mile 9. This is when I really began to feel good about where we stood in the race. We could look down on the road below us and there were still thousands of people below us. And we were still in a crowd. So, I knew we would be fine. We just took it easy from there. I was feeling pretty good at this time.

By the time we made it to Epcot again, my feet and legs were really hurting and everyone kept saying, you're almost there, just a little ways further. And it just seemed that it took forever. But then we saw the finish line and I cried like a baby again. Wow, we had done it. We could barely run across it but we did, We had done it. Then I got on the phone and texted everybody I know.

I must give a shout out to my good friends who were texting me all along the way giving me encouragement. That was a big help and kept me motivated.

So, we finished. Then we crammed all the food and sports drinks down out throats that we could. I was absolutely starving. We went back to the room and showered and napped, I didn't really want to nap. I wanted to go to the parks but we had been up since 2:30 and we were in a lot of pain.

Then next day we spent at Magic Kingdom and had such a good time. We saw all the princesses walking around with their medals. Everyone was congratulating us and giving us pats on the backs. Totally awesome.

I loved loved loved this experience. I hope to be able to do it again and again and again. I so admire my Aunt Pam for doing this with me. That woman is 55 years old and just ran her first half marathon. That is really impressive and inspiring. And she is going to do another one in Hawaii in April! Very cool.