1st off: Happy things

Things that make me happy #2. Being married. I love being married. Rick and I have been married for 7 years now and I have not regretted my decision one single time. It's wonderful knowing that someone is there for you at the end of the day. It's wonderful being awakened by snoring in the night because if that's happening, you know that you are not alone. It's nice to have someone you can count on no matter what. Rick is the most incredible husband and being his wife makes me very happy.


I have just returned from a week long trip to Florida. My dad had a heart attack and we thought we were going to lose him. He seems to be doing fine now, which is a relief. He will have a quadruple bypass next week. With my dad's illness, I've been thinking a lot about death and dying. It's morbid I know. But when faced with mortality, one can't help but consider things. My mom and I talked a lot about funerals, finances, what to do with his possessions, how life would be without my dad. I think it would be foolish of us to not talk about that stuff. The man runs on a blood pressure of 230/180 and a blood sugar of 400 or greater. I'm glad to know that if anything happens to my dad, my mom will be okay. She is prepared for the worst and hoping for the best. I have seen this week that she is stronger than I have given her credit for. My sister, on the other hand, is a basket case. I thought that my sister would take care of my mom if anything happened to my dad,but it seems things are the other way around. I'm a little surprised by that. My mom can be pretty tough.

My dad is not easy to live with. At the hospital, he had one day where he was in a good mood. I think that was the day that he realized that he could've died. The subsequent days, he was a total grouch. To everyone. Nurses, Doctors, Dieticians, us. It was so hard to sit with him day in and day out listening to his verbal abuse of everyone. I have told my mom that when he has his surgery, we would sit with him in shifts. I just don't think I could take being there with him all day every day again. He wore me down and made me cry once. I don't want to be in that position again. I love him, but sometimes I don't like him very much. I think that is often the case between parents and their children.

So, I'll keep you updated. I'm not looking forward to the surgery next week.