work stuff that is really bringing me down

Our days have been miserable at work since Julie left. We had hired a lady to work with Dr. W when B went on maternity leave with the understanding that she would come and work with us when B got back. She interviewed well and she really seemed like a nice fit for our practice. Well, Dr. W and Dr. R (the Dr. I work for) used to be married. Dr. W's best friend works with her. So, the whole 6 weeks that the new girl, P, was working for Dr W, she heard all kinds of negative stuff about Dr. R from Dr W and Dr W's best friend, which did not bode well for us. She got along great with Dr. W's staff and they loved her. But with us, she was totally negative all the time. Always complaining about something, always tired. Threatening to go to the labor board once. She would not listen whenever we tried to teach her. She rolled her eyes. She copped an attitude with the Dr. She was mean to the patients. One patient's mom kicked her out of the room and demanded to see me because P was being a bitch to her. She threw a major temper tantrum in front of one of our new patients. It was miserable. So, they decided they were going to fire her today but yesterday after we all had left, she turned in her resignation. I guess she could see the handwriting on the wall. But, get this. She told our Practice Administrator that SHE couldn't work with US! That we were too clique-ish and we kept pushing her away. Which is not true really. We were really trying. We don't want to be a nurse short. It's hell trying to work a 3 nurse schedule with just 2 nurses. We were trying to figure out what could be done so that she would do better and not be so angry.

So today, the PA came to us and said, this is what P said and we just can't have this. "You can't just run people off because your personalities don't mesh. I don't want this to happen again." The kicker is, he KNEW how she was behaving but then he gets on to us for running her off. And yes, if our personalities don't mesh, we probably won't be able to work with her. We work in a very close, intimate environment. Everyone needs to be able to get along. So we pointed this out to him. It just irks me that he was so quick to blame us. Christy, Julie R, Dr R and I do have a tight bond and yes, it will be hard for someone to step into Julie M's shoes. But not if they are willing to have a good attitude and give us a chance. (and be nice to our patients). I think the worst thing that happened in all of this is having P work with Dr W before she worked with us. They contaminated her mind with all of their negativity and I think that is very very sad.

So, now we will have to work a 3 nurse schedule with 2 nurses. We will get behind and the patients will get mad because we are behind. Which will be miserable because when the patients are angry, it's harder to have short appts. with them. They figure since they've been waiting so long, they should have more of our time and it just becomes a perpetual problem. We have got to find a nurse fast but we don't want to jump into anything too quickly and make a bad choice.

I am planning on going to Disney in 28 days. If we don't find another nurse soon, I will not be able to go. I'm very worried about that. So, we will just see what happens.

great news

I've not been very good at keeping up with this thing. Sorry. Now, there have been so many things happen this past week that its hard for me to remember it all.



I have continued on the raw food thing and have lost some weight. Here are pics of our "raw" lunch when I went to visit Chanel last weekend. My only slips have been Fuji's ( I can't help it. It wasn't my idea to go there but since we all did, well, there is just no way I can resist the temptation. ) and last night we had friends over and they wanted pizza. I was just going to have salad, but the dressing I bought was gross and that sort of ruined it for me. At least I didn't eat a lot of pizza.



My friend Julie had her last day at work on Thursday. I will miss her so much. I will miss our foursome. The four of us, Julie, Julie , Christy and me all have a great bond. We know what each other is thinking. We finish each other's sentences. We know when the other is in a bad mood without anything being said. We have laughed together and cried together. We have been drunk together and have been gluttons together. Now, there is another nurse that will be stepping in to Julie's role and well, I'm just not sure how that's going to work but I'm trying to have a positive attitude about it.




Now, the best news of all! We are going to Disney World again in October! woohoo! I am so excited. I've been to Disney World so many times I've lost count and you would think I would know all I need to know about it. But, part of the thrill for me is the planning and this is what I have been doing today. I love it. There is always something new to do, some different place to eat, some fresh shows to see. Love it. AND we have decided to buy an annual pass, so, that means we can go however many times we want over the next year. We are even thinking about going for Christmas!

tidbits of my week

On Monday I started a 30 day trial of the raw food diet. That's where you don't eat any cooked food and you eat all fruits and vegetables and raw nuts. My dieting buddy is now back from Belgium and here we go again. I must say, I really like it. I feel good and I love fruits and veges anyway. We are supposed to be giving up caffeine, which I haven't completely done, I'm afraid of the withdrawal. But other than that, I've pretty much stuck with it. I have done very well losing weight this week. Chanel has too. Yay for us! But that's enough about that. I made a resolution that I wouldn't talk so much about my weight and dieting on my blog this year. So, I'll stop now.

I haven't been feeling well this week. I don't think its related to the diet. I've had lots of stomach pain, but its really come and gone since spring, not just since I started Raw Food. The doctors never really seem to know what is wrong and I'm tired of all the tests and things that they do so I don't want to go back to the Dr. But, I'm going on Monday. It just doesn't seem to be letting up, so I guess I'll go. Its funny sort of, but I am going with Sienna to her Dr. appt on Monday too for stomach pain. Wonder if its genetic? :)

One of my closest friends, Julie, who I have known for 16 years, is leaving to go to another job next week. I will miss her terribly. When she told me she was leaving, I literally lost my breath but regained it quickly because one needs to breathe in order to cry. We have worked together for a long time and it brings tears to my eyes when I even think about not seeing her sitting next to me everyday. I think she will really like her new job,but its hard to feel happy for her when I am so busy feeling sorry for myself. I need to work on that.

We have a busy weekend planned. Saturday, I will be scrapping all day at Scrapbooks & More. I love doing that! Then Sunday, we are going to see Chanel and her new apartment. I'll let you know how all that goes. Oh, by the way, be watching to see who will be our next Vice President of the United States this weekend!

Have a great weekend!

my baby picture

I just wanted to share this adorable photo with you.(if you cover up the hair, you can definately see Chanel and Sienna). I guess I was about a yr. old in this photo. This was one of the many treasures I brought back to Tennessee with me from Michigan. It was amazing to hear about all the stories of how everyone took such good care of me when I was young. I was the first grandchild and therefore, everyone's doll baby. We just had such a good time looking at old pictures and reminiscing about things I don't remember. It was kind of cute how my aunts would say, Don't you remember...?" and I would have no recollection of whatever they were talking about but it was fun to hear, just the same. My mom doesn't really talk about my childhood much so its great for me to hear stories from my aunt. I brought home tons of pictures, even some of the rare ones of my grandma and grandpa, and soon as I get them scanned in to my computer, I plan to scrap them.

I hope you're having a great weekend.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Happy Birthday to me. I scrapped my last entry in case there were those of you who had already read it. I've decided to be a little more positive and to not sound so whiny in this entry. When I entered my 40s, I was a little down about it. I am not too keen on aging. But when I went to Michigan and saw some of my aunts who are all over 50 I was encouraged because they look fabulous. So, now I know I have good genes. I'm counting on looking fabulous myself well into my 70s now. So, I am happy that I will be hopefully be able to embrace aging now.

Yesterday, we spent the day with Donald and Shara. We went to see Pineapple Express. It was hilarious. It was all kind of dumb humor. Like Raising Arizona or Dumb and Dumber. Loved it. I wanted to go to Fujis for my birthday dinner but Rick didn't really want to go there. I think I've worn him out on it. So, instead, Sienna brought me some shrimp sauce from Fujis and we took that to Wasabis. Wasabis has much better meat and with the Fuji shrimp sauce, the meal was perfect. I can see it becoming a tradition.

Today, Rick took me to Ihop and later, we are going on a shopping spree. Woohoo! He has truly spoiled me this year as he does every year. He's so good. I can't believe how lucky I am to have him.

Have a happy Sunday!

My family is so cool

I just returned from our trip to Michigan. I must say, I was apprehensive about going but now I am so glad I did. My family is a lot of fun to be around and they bent over backwards to keep us entertained and I am so grateful to them for showing us a good time.

We arrived on Wednesday afternoon. I have been sensitive to the fact that I am going into GM country while driving a Honda. Most of my uncles work or have worked for GM. I know that there are some not so pleasant thoughts about people who don't buy American. So, on Wednesday, as we got closer into town, my aunt Karla met us at an exit so we could follow her on to my Uncle Karl's house. My Uncle Karl had called us about 4 times to see where we were and when we would be arriving, which I thought was weird, but whatever. So I am following Karla down the interstate and going about 72 when we pass a cop sitting in the median. I wasn't too worried because I wasn't really speeding. Then next thing I know, this cop slides in right behind me and turns on his lights! Mom is like, what did you do to make him pull you over? I said, I didn't do anything. He's probably pulling me over because I am driving an out of state Honda....so I am a nervous wreck. In the meantime, Aunt Karla takes off, which I thought was weird. She should have at least stopped and waited for me. So I am digging through my purse to find my license. I had changed purses and couldn't find my license and that made me even more nervous. So, both of the officers came to the car, one on each side. And I look up and there was my Uncle Karl. I said, " That is not even funny!" So everybody got a laugh at my expense. That was my welcome to Michigan.

We had lots of laughs the entire trip. I saw people again that I haven't seen in about 17 yrs. But it was so comfortable and yes, I think my family is very cool. I am busy planning when we can go back.

elation

This weekend has been one of my gushy, mushy, all is right with the world kind of weekends. I am so very happy with my life just as it is, right here in this moment. My girls are happy and in love. Rick seems pretty content, not stressed. He's happy his house is in order. My parents are in good health. My friends seem happy and are attentive. ( I require lots of attention) My job is good. I don't have to work much. I love my coworkers. I often times lately feel like Snoopy when he dances around with his nose up in the air, in utter, sweet euphoria. Nice. So, I am just enjoying this while it lasts and I am expressing my gratitude everyday.

My mom is coming in on Tuesday. Then we are headed to Michigan to visit family. I have some apprehension about how its going to go, but I'm trying to have a good attitude about it. Its an adventure and I am always up for a good adventure. So, I'll let you know how it goes and I will try to blog again when I get home.

Have a happy day tomorrow!

Weird Al

We had a great night last night. Weird Al is funny. He is one of those people where either you get him or you don't. He has a sense of humor that many people don't get, but let me tell you, last night the Tennessee Theater was full of people who get him. I liked him. I thought he was funny but at one point when I went to the bathroom, there were a couple of girls in there who were saying they were laughing so hard they were crying and I was like "really?" I want that. I want to laugh so hard that I cry. It didn't happen. I don't really keep up with Weird Al and I don't really know very many of his songs and the sound was so loud I couldn't understand what he was saying. So maybe, if I could have, it would have been better.

It didn't help that there was a guy who was at least 250# sitting next to me and he had horrible body odor and he was sweating and every time he would wave his hands in the air or rub against my arm I felt like barfing. Bleh! I just got more and more nauseated as the night went on. I guess if those circumstances had been different I would have laughed until I cried. There was one point where Weird Al came down into the audience and we were pretty close to the front and on the end and I was sure he was going to come up toward us and I was praying, "Please don't let him come here, I would be so embarrassed if I puked all over his nice red sportcoat. " I was very relieved when he went back up on stage. :)

But we spent time with friends and that is always fun. Rick loved the concert, he said that I must have been absorbing all of the BO because he didn't smell anything. I'm glad he had a good time.

Have a great Monday!

Happy Campers

Well Chanel has been home for 4 days now and it seems like she never left. I have really enjoyed having her home. This weekend, for Sienna's birthday, they all went camping . Rick and I went out to visit them this morning and it was so obvious that none of them are campers. It was about 85 degrees out there when we were there and of course, there was no air conditioning but Chanel and Sienna felt so gross after swimming in the lake, that they both had to go and take showers. It is going to be a long hot day and, personally, I would have forgone the shower but whatever. While we were there, they both got hot and sweaty again. Sienna says she didn't sleep much at all last night and she was just a little grouchy. Chanel didn't even pack a pillow or a towel, so neither she nor Steve had either. They only had about 4 pieces of firewood, and one pan, no spatula. Their cooler had no ice in it, it had all melted. And the only thing they had to drink was beer, which is illegal in the park, and 2 small bottles of fruit juice which had been in Chanel's car since before she left in January. lol. I was so tempted to go to the grocery store and get everything they needed, like I usually do, but decided in the end I would just leave the cupcakes I brought and let them work all the rest out on their own.

They were visited by a park ranger this morning because they had left beer cans out on the picnic table. He threatened to take Sienna to jail because she is under age...though, she says she wasn't the one who was drinking. And Sienna, being kind of grouchy from no sleep, smarted off to the ranger which made him mad. Not too smart. He let them off with a warning.

Steve is here to visit Chanel and it was pretty funny, as I was talking to him, he kept commenting on how hot it was. He is not a camper either. :) He is very charming and I can see why Chanel loves him so much. He seems to be a stabilizing factor in her life, like Rick is in mine. He seems happy to be with Chanel, but not so happy about sweating, bees, the hard ground and the lack of water. I have forewarned him about the randomness in our family but he is very aware of how Chanel is and seems fine with it.

Tonight, We are going with Don and Shara to see Weird Al. I have never been a big fan of Weird Al but the guys really like him and I'm sure we will have a lot of much needed laughter.

Have a great Saturday!

Finally home

We picked up Chanel from the airport last night. I insisted on getting there early. I wanted to be there in case her plane came in early. You never know and planes come in early so often these days, right? I just didn't want her to get there early and not have us there to meet her. We had forgotten to pick up the flowers I intended on getting so since we were waiting so long, Sienna decided to do a Welcome Home banner on her Macbook. It turned out very nice and Chanel loved having a non traditional Welcome sign.

So, her flight was delayed by 27 minutes. And when it did come in, we went up closer to wait and all the people got off and no Chanel. We waited 10 extra minutes, and no Chanel. I started getting very anxious then, pacing around, almost crying and then finally, she comes wandering out the gate. I ran to her and hugged her and started crying with relief. She had stopped to use the rest room. It was so typical Chanel to leave us waiting, but it had me a nervous wreck all the same.

She looks good considering it was 4 a.m. Belgium time when she got here. She had left at 6 am our time and arrived in Knoxville at 9:27 pm. Long day. She had gotten used to speaking in clear succinct verbage. I guess because she had to enunciate clearly when speaking to her french and german languaged friends. Rick spent much of the evening trying to get her to speak East Tennessee-ish again. Pretty funny.

Once again, I forgot to take pictures of her. I am hoping I get better at that now that I have a new, small Canon Elph to carry with me in my purse everywhere. I just got it yesterday.

So, she's here and she's fine and I can't wait to hear of all her adventures.

Have a happy Wednesday!

2 days!

My darling wayward daughter will be home in 2 days. I am praying she will have a safe trip. I can't wait to see her. The last time I was at McGhee Tyson airport, I sobbed my eyes out from anxiety and sorrow. This time I will probably sob my eyes out from relief that she is finally home and safe. Tuesday will be a good day.

This coming weekend, I will finally get to meet Steve. I'm not really nervous about that. I trust that she has made a good choice. It will finally be good to chat with my potential future son-in-law. The only thing that worries me is that I will say something stupid to embarrass Chanel. I have been known to blurt things out and then say, I can't believe I just said that!

Chanel will be a busy girl when she gets home. She will have to get car insurance again, and a phone. She will need to find an apartment in Cookeville and a job before starting school next month. All with little money. *sigh*

I think Sienna has about decided not to move to Cookeville. She will have to talk to Chanel about it more when she is home. I'm going to try to just give a little bit of guidance and then let them make their own decisions. I have to trust that they will make the right ones. They are both smart girls.

Today is a rainy Sunday. It will be a nice day to snuggle with Rick on the couch and watch Happy Feet.

Have a great day!

Lost and Survivor where are you?

Okay, so we all know that Rick and I love to watch TV. During summer there is absolutely nothing on TV and I am so ashamed to say that this is what we have stooped to: Ice Road Truckers
Ax Men
Black Gold
Verminators (no joke)
and last but not least: All About Dung. I mean, seriously?

As another weekend draws to a close....

What a nice weekend we've had! Saturday my friend Shara and I scrapped all day until our backs ached. I loved that. I got 5 layouts done at the crop and then came home and did 3 more. Then today, I did 2 more! Feels so good!

I have opened my mouth and inserted my foot this week and have tried to back peddle for several days now. I suggested that maybe Sienna needed a fresh start with fresh faces, namely Chanel and her friends. I just wish Sienna could find some decent people to hang out with and maybe some college boys to date. I've been somewhat disappointed in her choices of men and I just want her to find someone who is good to her and who has a bright future. Chanel is moving back to Cookeville for a while so she can finish up her Master's and well, Chanel knows everybody and her friends are nice and it would be a neat opportunity for Sienna. All that said....Sienna has a pretty good paying job with health insurance, I'm afraid she wouldn't find that there; traditionally, Chanel and Sienna just really don't get along very well, so it might be hard for them to live together; if she does move, Leeann loses a babysitter; if she does move, I will be here without either one of my girls and I will worry twice as much because I won't be able to see what's going on with them... Not liking the idea so much now. I just wish I would think twice before blurting out bright ideas.

16 more days til Chanel comes home.

Have a happy day tomorrow!

Insomnia can be a wonderful thing

I'm not sleeping again tonight. It could be sign of an upcoming mood cycle but it just may be that I am working out almost daily and don't need as much sleep. Time will tell. I can sure get a lot done in the middle of the night.

I did join Curves last week and between going there and my new Wii Fit, I have worked out 5 out of 7 days and I have lost only one pound. But I do love Curves. I love it mostly because its just a 30 minute workout which means on a good day at work I can work out and be home by 6. When I was doing water aerobics, I would have to wait til 6 to start the class and I usually wouldn't get home until 7:15 and 7:30. So this is much better. I have several workout buddies, Christy, Sienna and Leeann so we will all keep each other motivated to keep going.

Chanel will be home in 3 1/2 weeks. I will be happy to have her home. I've really missed her. She is having a great time but she is ready to come home as well. It's been interesting to hear her stories. I am especially curious about European's thoughts about the US and it seems that they talk about it all the time. George Bush is definately not liked over there and they are definitely hoping we Americans will be smarter about who we elect this time around. I am hoping so as well.

Have a great day tomorrow!
Sweet dreams.

Sisiversary

We just returned from Sisiversary 2008 and we absolutely had a blast. I mean, scrapbooking for a whole day and a half with my best friend, who can beat it? We totally pooped out on Friday night though. It was the weirdest thing. One minute, we are just scrapping away, jabbering, learning new techniques and the next minute I am zoned. I know the TA who was trying to help me learn to do a crochet knot totally thought I flaked out on her. She kept teaching me to do it over and over and finally I just took the thing from her and set it down. But I'm not the only one, Leeann was having just as hard a time as I was. It had just been a long day and we were tired. So we left and were back in our room by 10. They were going downstairs until 1:30am though. I just can't go like the energizer bunny anymore.

Saturday, we woke up very early because Leeann had set her alarm for eastern time and Nashville is in central time, so yeah, we were early risers. But we had time to have a nice leisurely breakfast in the hotel dining room and it was so good. We took 3 classes and cropped some on Saturday. The classes were awesome. Its hard to really explain them and if you're not a scrapbooker, you wouldn't understand just how special the classes were so when I am done with the projects, I'll have to post pictures of them. I was trying to explain 2 of the classes to Rick when I got home and he was like -Oh, yeeaahh, uh-huh, mmmmm, nice. And I was like: you totally don't get it do you? and he was like: um, no. lol. And now I'm like: why am I talking like a teenager with "like" and "totally" ? :) I have no idea. We got lots of neat products and Saturday night I just had to spread them all out on the queen size bed and just touch them all again! It just gives me goosebumps to see all the loot!

I love Leeann, she is like my favorite and time with her is precious. We can just talk about anything and believe me, we do. She totally cracks me up sometimes. She has this thing for Chik-Fil-a cups. And Chik fil a ice. We went through drive through a couple of times just to get a cup of ice. She'd be like:" I hate to ask you this, but can we go get some ice at Chik fil a? " Or:" Could you do me just one more favor before we go back to the room? " And off we'd go to get some ice. So cute.

Saturday night we were on our way back from dinner and we were talking about the number cards we chose in one of our classes. She chose the number 8 which, I learned, is Leeann's favorite number. Apparently, she loves the number 8 and the letter W so much that she doodles them all the time. She's like: (in a singsong voice) " I just love the number 8, I love to write it over and over. And W's. I love to write the words, whatever, why..." OMG. Cracked me up! I haven't laughed so hard since....well, since the last time we spent a significant amount of time together. I mean, seriously? lol. Love that girl.

Friday before we left town, we went to Curves. There is this study going on where we pay $30 for 30 days of use of the gym. They measured and weighed us. ugh. But it had to be done. We had to sign a contract that we would work out 3 days a week. So, that's going to be my fitness plan for the next month. I'm hoping I can get myself back on track and get some more weight off.

Have a good Sunday. Happy Father's day!

I want my mommy!

I know this is what my girls were shouting in their heads today. I even thought it myself once today. Sienna called me this morning as I was headed out to work. She had fallen down the stairs and was injured. So, I called in sick to work and headed over there. Mom to the rescue! Poor girl is pretty banged up. She was half asleep and went out to her car in flip flops, (of course) and slipped on the wet stairs. She fell down 8 stairs. As Rick said, "damn those flip flops!" She's been having back problems and now she is really stoved up. She couldn't even sit up this morning. But I think she will be okay.

Chanel called me this afternoon sobbing. "Mom, okay, this is an emergency. I'm trying not to cry." My heart started racing and thoughts of all kinds of things were running through my head. You all know Chanel and know that she has decreased inhibitions and there is no telling what kind of mess she had gotten herself into. Is she in jail? has she been in an accident? all kinds of things going through my mind. But apparently, the ATM machine took her debit card. And of course, being Chanel, she gets right down to her last penny, (or pound in this instance), before she gets more money out. So, she is in London with no money and she is sobbing hysterically. I spent the next hour trying to get money wired to her. OMG. What a nightmare. I tried to do it online and I couldn't get the site to work right. Then I tried to call and had to go through all these prompts giving all my information, then a real person comes on the line and I have to go through all of the exact same information again. Then he tells me my credit card company denied the $ transfer. Damn Chase. So, I want to use my other credit card and I have to give him all the demographic information AGAIN only this time with a different credit card number. And then he tells me no. I have to call Citibank and get approval from them and call western union back. But that he would go ahead and give me the MTA number, so I would just have to call him back and let him know its been approved by Citibank. SO, I call Citibank. I have to go through all the demographic information on the automated thing and THEN I get a real person on the phone and have to give her all the demo. info again. I swear I had to repeat the last 4 of my social at least 12 times today. So, she says, "Okay, I have all the information I need, I will just need to call you back at the phone number you gave me for validation." So, I waited and waited for 15 mins. She didn't call, so I called the customer service number again. AND had to go through all the prompts again, putting in all the #s and information, Until finally! I am able to talk to a real person again and guess what? It was a different person and I had to go through all the demographic information with her. AAAAaarrrggghh.! In the meantime, Chanel is frantic because the Western Union place is closing and she needs to be able to pay for a place to sleep tonight and she keeps calling me over and over. 6 times she called while i was trying to talk to the Citibank person. So finally, its all approved and I call back the Western Union people and guess what? I have to go through putting in all the numbers for the prompts again. Then I finally talk to the guy, The Same Guy, and I have to do it all again for him. The same shit, again. I am so over it, and I tell the guy I am over it and he begs me to be patient but I CAN"T! Dammit, I just want to send my daughter, who is in distress, some money! So finally, it all goes through. Chanel is thankful of course, but she says it will be 2 weeks before she gets her new card and I am thinking, Dang, I'm going to have to go through this all again and send her more money. *sigh*.. It should be easier the second time around because this time, I am going to call the credit card company before I call Western Union.

I got Rick to call Chase when he got home because I was pissed that they wouldn't let me use them for the money transfer. Their answer was that it seemed like an unusual event so they blocked any usage until they could talk to us. I'm all for fraud prevention and stuff, but when I want to use my card, I want to use my card. It makes me mad.

So, thanks for letting me rant. I needed that!

Finally some validation of what I've been saying all along! :)

Tom Musbach, Yahoo! HotJobs
The slowdown in the U.S. economy is threatening a necessity for workers: vacations.
According to the annual Yahoo! HotJobs vacation survey, 51% of respondents said they plan to skip taking a vacation this year, opting to save money instead.
Not a Frivolous Matter
"Vacations are usually the first thing to go when people feel job or economic pressure," says Joe Robinson, a trainer in work-life balance and author of "Work to Live." He continues, "We're programmed to believe that free time is worthless, a frill to shove aside, but vacations are as important as watching your cholesterol or getting exercise."
Skipping a vacation can also be bad for your employer.
Milo and Thuy Sindell, founders of Hit the Ground Running and authors of "Job Spa," say, "You are not helpful to the company and your coworkers when you are not operating at full capacity. Vacations help you to get rejuvenated to come back to work at full capacity."
Make It Work With Less
For those tempted to skip vacation this year due to financial worries, experts recommend the following tips:
Remind yourself: Vacation is not a luxury. "You owe it to yourself, your family, and your company to take care of yourself by stepping out of the office for at least a few days at a time," says Liz Bywater, president of the Bywater Consulting Group, which helps improve organizational performance.
Put aside some funds each week. "Even $50 a week [or less] can add up and make your trip happen," says Robinson.
Plan leisure activities near home. "Stay at home and read, garden, hike, jog, bike, or whatever you like to do but never have enough time for during the weekends," say the Sindells. "Or be a tourist in your own city."
Try home-swapping. You can swap with someone you know in another city, or use an online service, such as homexchange.com or even vrbo.com (Vacation Rentals by Owner). "It can have the look and feel of a vacation at a much more affordable housing cost than paying for hotel or resort lodging," says Michael Haubrich, president of Financial Service Group and an expert in financial planning for career issues.
Keep the itinerary simple. Travel columnist Donald D. Groff recommends selecting a destination within 200 miles (a three-hour drive) from your home. If you're traveling by plane, fly nonstop whenever possible. "The sooner you get to your destination, the sooner your relaxation begins," Groff says.
Stress-Busting Strategies
The economic downturn is also adding to workers' stress levels. Nearly a third of the respondents (31%) are worried by how the economy is affecting their workplaces, and 34% said they feel pressure to improve their performance for fear of being laid off.
With 55% of respondents admitted to being "burned out" by work, stress and fatigue add another threat to vacations. Experts say you can prevent the threat in the following ways:
Start small. "Start with an afternoon off to do something you really enjoy, even if it's just a walk at the beach or a visit to a farmer's market," says Beth A. Levin, author of "Making a Richer, More Fulfilling Life a Reality."
If planning is a burden, don't. "Instead of planning a vacation, just take time off to be at home and figure it out each day as you go," the Sindells suggest.
Enlist back-up support. Ask a trusted coworker to back you up while you're away and offer to return the favor, Bywater suggests. "It's much easier to relax when you know someone's got you covered."
Choose according to what you need. You may need a peaceful retreat from stress, or you may benefit from something more active and exciting. "Avoid the kind of vacation that will leave you even more exhausted than before," she adds.
Give yourself a deadline. "Stop thinking about it and just do it," says Bywater. "Think of it as 'doctor's orders.'"

Sex and the City

I went to see Sex & The City last night with Leeann and Sienna. Its a wonderful story about love and the everlasting bond of friendship. Its a feel good movie that you absolutely must see with your girlfriends but can I just say it is very weird sitting there watching sex scenes with my daughter sitting right next to me. eeww. There were a lot of sex scenes, hence the name, and I should have expected it. What was I thinking? I have no explanation except that as usual, I wasn't. It was a good movie though and if you like chick flicks you really must go. Just don't go with your daughter.

I've had a good week. Work just gets tough sometimes. But whose doesn't? This coming week, Dr. Robertson is on vacation so that means I get some more days off this week. That will be nice. I've got plenty to do to keep me busy. I'm going to try to help Leeann get ready for her living estate sale next week. With as much experience as I have yard saling, I should be a pro. I grew up on yard sales. My parents love to go and most Saturdays as a kid, we would be up at the crack of dawn in order to go. My parents still love to go. Its their entertainment for the week. Every time we go to visit we hit the yard sales, but my parents no longer get up so early to start. Dad will usually let us sleep until at least 7:30.

Have a happy weekend!

I know its been awhile since I've blogged. Not a lot to say. Life is just plugging along as usual. I'm happy, those that I love are happy and I'm just so full of love and joy I could burst! Well....hmmmm.....

Oh! One thing that I really need to share happened this past weekend. Sienna made me more proud of her than I have ever been. Those who know us know that Sienna and I have a history of not getting along. Well, I always tried to get along with her, she just wasn't always receptive, lets put it that way. Prior to this year, she has been angry and depressed and hateful much of the time. This weekend, as she was expressing her gratitude for all that Rick and I have done for her, she cried. I hope this isn't embarrassing to her for me to say but I had to cry myself because I became so aware of how much she has grown and evolved into a beautiful young woman over this last year. Last year it was so hard to be positive around her because she was always sad and angry. Now its like she has had this major transformation. What a beautiful butterfly she has become! Rick, who in the past has been quite skeptical that she could change, was even saying how proud he was of her for the way she has been handling adversity. She is even talking about going back to school. Yay!

The relationship that I have with my two girls is very special and is something that I will always truly treasure. It makes me feel good that they have both turned out so well. I am a very proud mama.

Have a happy Wednesday.

We had a great day today. Rick and I went to Dollywood. For those of you who aren't fortunate enough to live in East Tennessee, Dollywood is like a Smoky Mountain Disney World. I wish. But its a fun place to go and spend the day. We mostly just saw some shows and walked around and shopped. It was a nice low key kind of day and we really enjoyed it.

Tomorrow will be Chanel's 23rd birthday. We usually spend it at Dollywood and I was definitely missing her today. This will be the first time in 23 years that I have not been able to be with her. It makes me very sad. I almost flew over there to see her this week but didn't. I think she was planning on going to London for the weekend. She is a very lucky girl. Here are some pics. The first one is right around her 1st birthday. The second is last year on her birthday.




So, I will be missing her but I'm sure this will be one birthday that she will remember for a very long time.

Disney 2008

My dad's 70th birthday

We went to my mom and dad's after our trip to Disney for my dad's birthday. I think he was thrilled to have us all there. Though he is frequently loud and gruff he is getting so he tears up more and becomes more emotional when he is happy. He almost cried to have everyone there and he was very happy to have the party. Its hard to believe he is 70 and he seems like he is in good health (his doctors say he is) still despite all the drinking and smoking he does. We had a good time. Ruth was there with her three youngest, most rambunctious boys. I don't know how she does it! I guess she can because she is just as rambunctious at they are. She seemed to be on her best behavior and I was glad to be able to spend some time with her.

I really need to get down to see my parents more. It has been harder and harder to live so far away from them even though they drive me crazy sometimes, I miss them. It's especially hard when I miss birthdays and mother's and father's days.

Rick no longer has his parents and so it makes me appreciate mine even more when I think about that. One problem is that my family is so loud that Rick gets overstimulated easily. We are so used to having things nice and quiet so Rick has to take my family in small doses.

Anyway, it was a nice end to our trip. My mom and I are planning on taking another trip to Michigan in July to visit my aunts and uncles (yep another vacation) . So that should be fun.

I don't know where to start

We are back from our trip. We had a fabulous time. There is just so much to see and do at Disney and so much I want to say about it but I'm not sure where to start or how to get it all written down so I'll just give a brief synopsis.....it was fun! There you go. Here are a few pictures to kind of show what a good time we had. Disney has photographers all over the parks and they are more than happy to take your picture with their cameras or with yours. Needless to say, I had a good time searching for the photographers. It was fun to get a bunch of pics of the two of us together for a change.


Here are pics with our favorite mouse. For some reason, all the characters like to rub Rick's head. I guess for good luck or something. We got all kinds of pictures with our favorite characters but Mickey is always our favorite. This was taken at our favorite restaurant in Epcot. The Garden Grill. The restaurant is on this rotating platform that slowly moves you around to different scenes in America. Very cool. It also has cornbread that melts in your mouth. Yum.

These are the fireworks at the magic kingdom. You can see Space Mountain right there. We ate a late dinner at the top of The Contemporary and at fireworks time, we went out to the viewing deck. They piped in the music for the show and it was almost like being there at the park, only without the crowds. It was fantastic. The dinner here was way more expensive than anywhere we've ever eaten but I think it was totally worth it.

Anyone who knows Rick understands this picture. This was at Minnie's house.

This was my thing this year. Trying on all kinds of hats and getting into character. We had a good time with it. Trust me, at Disney there are tons of hats to try!



Eeyore. So Cute! And so huggable.

Rubbing the belly and the tummy for good luck! This was at the Animal Kingdom. We went to all 4 parks. Magic Kingdom and Epcot twice. Epcot is our favorite.

So I guess that's about enough. I have tons of pictures. I tell myself every year that we go that I am not going to take so many pictures, but I always do. Half of my iPhoto is composed of Disney pictures and I have at least 5000 pics in iPhoto.

We just had such a great time as we always do. We would spend until about 1 or 2 in the parks. Then we would go back to the condo and Rick would take a nap and I would go to the pool. It was just how a vacation should be and we loved it.

More later on my trip to my parents' house for my dad's birthday.

Have a great Thursday!

Off to see a mouse

We are off to Disney tomorrow! I'm so excited I have butterflies in my tummy. I have been to Disney World at least 14 times in my adult life. I have lost count. But the thrill is still the same now as it was the first time I went. Disney just does it up right. I have said time and time again that it is my favorite vacation spot and I am so thrilled to be able to experience it again next week.

We plan to stop and see my mom and dad the weekend after Disney. My mom's having a party for my dad's 70th birthday. It's hard to believe that he is 70. He still seems like about 40 in my eyes. I remember when he was about 40 and I just thought he was so old!! Now, that I am 41, 70 doesn't seem quite so old. :) I am just so glad he has been healthy enough to see 70.

So, I will be home on May 4. Have a magical week!

Here's the thing about vacations

We are getting ready to leave for Disney in 5 days. I am very excited. One can never get too much of Disney World! It truly is the happiest place on earth. I've taken a lot of razzing about my vacations these past few weeks. Dr. Robertson doesn't want me to leave him...trust me, he'll be fine. My friends think its crazy that I am taking off again. I hear all kinds of comments. It's all in good humor of course, but I have been feeling like I have to kind of explain myself lately.

We both have jobs that are very stressful and mentally taxing, I mean, seriously so. In my job, I listen to peoples' problems and mental health issues all day, everyday. During the day, I hear about grandma's dog dying, daughters' sneaking out at night, son's alcoholism, Junior's raging at school. I hear about suicide, self mutilation, physical and sexual abuse. I hear about autism, and adhd and bipolar and depression and drug addiction. In a given day, I see 10 or more people cry, I see at least 3 temper tantrums. I hear parents in desperation begging us to help them have some semblance of a normal life. I see hopelessness, helplessness and worthlessness. There are some joys. Many, in fact. Otherwise, I would not keep doing this day after day. But I COULD NOT keep doing it if it weren't for my glorious vacations. Sometimes, I feel like I just can't take it one more day. And then I remember, I have a vacation coming up and it makes me smile.

I love my job and I'm good at it. I just get tired sometimes and need a break. So off we go in 5 more days to Disney World. I am so so excited!! Then I'll be rejuvenated again, at least for a little while.

Have a happy Sunday!!

Happy Anniversary to us!

Today is our 6th wedding anniversary. Rick and I lived together for about 5 years before I asked him to marry me. lol. Well, I had to ask him, he wasn't asking me fast enough. I may have mentioned before that I am a very impatient girl. So, I asked him to marry me and I got a ring and life was going on day to day. Rick was very comfortable with the way things were. I think he thought if he just got me a ring, I would shut up about it. I didn't. Finally one day, he said, "okay, I guess we should just go ahead and do it." He is a true romantic. A couple weeks later, we were in Sevierville in front of the precious Jimmy Temple. He performed this sweet ceremony in the front room of his house, with witnesses we didn't even know. I cried happy tears. We then walked down the street back to our car. The trees and flowers were all in bloom and it was all so quaint. Then, we went to Wendy's and had hamburgers....ahhhhh bliss. LOL. It was great.

I know this story sounds funny but it is wonderful.Though there has been conflict a time or two, I have not regretted one single day of our marriage and the great part is, I'm sure Rick would say the same thing. Our marriage is a joy. Rick is so funny. He makes me laugh everyday. He takes wonderful care of me, of my kids and all of my family. I never have to worry about anything with him around. He is my rock, my champion and my hero. I was in bad shape 12 years ago when we met. A wild girl with no sense of direction, who frequently was wishing for death as she cried herself to sleep at night. I was a sad clown. Happy on the outside but dying on the inside. Rick saw through me. He lifted me up and it is going to sound cliche, but he made me feel whole for the first time ever. I am never happier than when I am with him. I will always be grateful that God not only brought him into my life, but that he gave Rick the patience to stay in my life in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer til death do us part.

So, happy anniversary to us!!!

I found my new song!

Last night, we went out to dinner with Don and Leeann. We went to Amerigo, which is a pretty new restaurant here in town. Their menu was very diverse and interesting. They had italian, old and new world, pork tenderloin, fish, all kinds of different things. The food was so-so and the service also was so-so. I can say that this will not be one of my favorite restaurants but it was okay.

Then, after dinner, we went to the Civic Coliseum to see Little Big Town and Sugarland. I loved it. We danced and sang our hearts out and it was so fun. Rick didn't much like the fact that we were so high up but we were to the right of the stage and we could see the bands perfectly. And Rick and Don and Leeann all had binoculars which was fun! I don't like to look through the binoculars much because with my one bad eye, it seems kind of distorted, but I could see fine without them. Sugarland put on a great show. They were very energetic and in good humor. Towards the end of the concert they both got into these big blow up bubbles, the audience down on the floor raised their hands to hold the bubbles up and Jennifer and Kristian rolled themselves over top of the audience. It was great!

Jennifer Nettles has written my new song. It's called "Operation Working Vacation". It will be on her new album. Leeann is always teasing me about always wanting to go on another vacation. I LOVE vacations! This new song is so cute, perfect for me!

Don and Leeann are the most fun people I know. Its always fun to go out with them. They get us. They laugh at all of Rick's humor,corny as it is, and they understand my quirkiness and love me for it, not in spite of it. Its so nice to have friends like that! I feel so blessed to have them in my life.

It has been a nice weekend.

Have a happy Monday tomorrow!

Well, I survived my first week back at work. It was so hard! It was hard to get up every morning and it seemed like the days dragged on forever. It was nice to be back with my friends at work but I would have much rather had that time with them over lunch at Fuji's. I really liked being off for those two weeks. I could get used to it. I'm trying not to complain too much. Rick is so stressed out at work and I know he doesn't want to hear it. We are planning on retiring in 6 1/2 years and Rick is all the time telling me that I need to do my part to get us to that goal. So, I don't complain much. (At least not to Rick) Fortunately he doesn't read my blog much. :)

After Rick's friend and boss Ron died, Rick began to worry a little about job loss. The possibility of that was real because of a lot of reasons but I never really felt threatened. He is their top developer and I just didn't see how losing his job could really happen. Well, now we are feeling pretty safe. He has been asked to join this elite IT group and has been given the role of tech lead. Whew! He took classes about this new technology last week and this week began some of the new stuff. He was informed that if he accepted this offer, he would have to work lots of overtime to get things up and running and boy has he been! So, its kind of bittersweet. We are so happy that he has been chosen, everybody wants to be a Cheetah but he is already worn out. So, you see why I can't complain too much, I am only working about 27 hours per week. He is working a lot more than that.

Chanel is in Barcelona this weekend with Steve. She spent the last two weeks in France. She seems to be having a fabulous time.

Sienna got employee of the month last week again. I am so proud of her for doing such a good job at work!

We are going to see Sugarland tonight with Don and Leeann. I think we will have a great time. We always do with them. Rick is really looking forward to using his binoculars tonight at the concert. lol

Have a happy Saturday!

confessions

Okay, I promised not to go on and on about this, this year but here is some statistical information for you:

Ihop+ McDonalds+Burger King+Benihanas+Famous Dave's+Chilis+Burger King again+McDonalds 2 more times+Peter Piper's Pizza+ doritos+ Chocolate pretzels+ Snickers bars+a chocolate bunny+beer+wine etc,etc= 5 pounds. Ugh. But it also equals a great vacation!
Sorry, I just had to confess so I could move on! LOL!

Have a great Thursday tomorrow!

Tucson

Well, I'm back from a wonderful time in Tucson. It was a fabulous trip. I managed to make it to my flight from Atlanta on Sunday and my mom and aunts were there waiting on me. I was so proud to make it there all by myself. I had never gone to an airport alone except to the Knoxville airport and it is tiny. Atlanta airport is huge! I found the train that was to take me to my concourse and and I just thought that was awesome, like riding a subway. So, I'm looking all around and the train screeched to a halt and I fell right into this guys arms. I was so embarrassed. He said, "the first one gets me every time too." Good thing he was pretty hefty so he could keep me from falling right on my tail. My face was as red as my shirt.!

Arizona is so pretty. If you ever get the chance, you should visit there. I didn't think it would be so pretty because I am sort of partial to green grass and trees, but it was beautiful. It was in the 80s most everyday, the sky was so very blue and most days, there wasn't a cloud in the sky. We had a great little patio and there was a little bunny who came out every night to eat the flowers and he was very cute. There was this little area right outside our door that was called Sunset Point and the sunsets were spectacular.

Even though it was desert where we were, the resort had all kinds of flowers all around that were so fragrant they almost made you want to lie down in them. This pic is my Aunt Karla and me the first night we went out exploring.The pool was wonderful. Even though it was 85 degrees there, it didn't seem hot, and I didn't sweat a bit. I came home with a very nice sunburn. Everything about the place was wonderful. I really had a great time.
I learned a lot about my mom's family. Stuff I had never heard before and found it interesting that between the three of them, they each had slightly different memories about things that have happened in their family. I never knew much about my grandparents, my grandma died when I was very young and we lived away from my grandpa and step- grandma so I didn't know much about them. It was kinda fun to hear more about them, the good and the bad. Their family has just as many skeletons as everyone else's.
We went to Tombstone, Arizona. I thought it would be cool to see an old west town. Boy, was I disappointed. It was very tourist trap- like and commercialized. Even to see the shoot out at the O.K. Corral, it was $7.95. Crazy. We went on a trolley tour of the town and met a "genuine" miner named Stinky, That was pretty fun. He really didn't smell that bad when he put his arm around me so I don't know how genuine he really was but he played the part well! :)
So, it was a good trip. We had a great time. I really enjoyed spending time with my mom and aunts. It was very special to me to bond with them. One thing I must say after this week is that I learned to appreciate a lot of things I have here at home. For one thing, I still know that Fuji's is the best japanese restaurant around. We ate at Benihana's one night...no comparison. Also, the Walmart there is only for groceries! Who ever heard of a Walmart without clothes? Weird. I never thought I would have an appreciation for Walmart. I also now have a new appreciation for Rick and the relationship that we have. He is a champion and I missed him terribly. My mom was sure to point out to everyone that he is a gem and by far her favorite son-in-law. ( He is, actually, her only son-in-law, but the sentiment is sweet.)

It's nice to be home.

A glorious week

This has been a glorious week! I have only worked about 8 hours all week but I have been totally busy. So busy that Rick has told me that its time for me to go back to work now because I have been shopping my legs off! Actually, tonight at dinner I found myself uttering words that I never thought I would say in my life! " I'm kinda over shopping." *gasp* I think those words were music to Rick's ears because I swear I heard him breathe a sigh of relief. lol! I have had a great run of it, but alas, enough is enough. I slept in everyday, I shopped, I scrapped, I lunched with friends, I had pedicures and manicures, I got my hair cut, I ate chocolate. It has been lovely.

I still have another week to go, that's the cool thing! I can really get used to this not working thing.

So, I leave early early Sunday morning to drive to Atlanta to meet my favorite aunts and my mom. We will fly from there to Phoenix and then drive an hour from Phoenix to Tucson. Tucson looks like it will be really pretty and warm! I thought maybe we could do some hiking there but then I saw a show about African Killing bees in the Tucson desert and I have decided that that is probably not such a good idea. So, I think there are museums and art galleries there that we can visit. Also, Tombstone, Arizona is there. That's where the big shootout was at the OK Corral. So, we'll probably do some touristy stuff like that. It will just be so fun to be there with my aunts and mom. We have good memories together and it will be wonderful to make more. I love these "girl vacations" but its becoming harder and harder to leave Rick behind. I miss him so much when I am away.

So, I'll update when I get back! Have a happy week!

Just to catch up

I know its been awhile. The fact of the matter is, there hasn't been a lot going on. I started my vacation yesterday. Though I am not going out of town until the 30th, I only work on Wednesday and Friday next week because Dr Robertson will be out of town. There's not much work for us to do when he is gone and actually, he prefers us to take time off when he is not there. So its going to be like I have a two week vacation. Love it.

I started my vacation off right yesterday when I had breakfast with my best friend, Leeann. She's been going through some rough times and it was nice just to chat for a while. I think that for a little while, I took her mind off things. We tried to go shopping but for some reason, the managers of the stores we like like to sleep in. The stores didn't open until 10, which stinks. We love to shop and that would have been a great end to our morning.

So, this week, I plan to do some shopping and to have some lunches with more friends. I am planning on a pedicure with Leeann and a haircut and to just take this down time to catch up on some things. We may even go to Dollywood on Monday.

I hope you all have a happy Easter. Easter's just not the same for us since the kids are grown. Chanel is gone and Sienna goes to her dad's to spend time with her brothers. So we'll just have a nice quiet day. I am so impressed with Rick though. He actually went out and put together an easter basket for me this year. Now, this is not something he would typically do, so it meant a lot to me that he did it all on his own. Sweet man.

I checked the weather in Tucson because this is where I'll be going in a week. It is 85 and sunny today. Ahhhhh, that sounds wonderful!

Happy Easter

A lot of you have been asking...

How is Chanel doing? Well, I am happy to say that she called me on Wednesday and she is doing just fine. She really seems happy there. To begin with, I think she had a hard time adjusting. She was lonesome for home and the language barrier was tough. Now she has learned enough french to be able to communicate and she has found more people that speak english. She is making plenty of friends now, which I knew she would. She is a very social girl. She is traveling and is taking lots of pictures. She still plans to go to Paris for Easter and then to Barcelona when her boyfriend Steve comes to visit in April.

She finally got her care package that I sent 2 1/2 weeks ago. I think they took a canoe across the Atlantic to deliver it to her. Then when she was finally able to pick it up, they charged her 10 euros to pick it up. Something about customs. She really enjoyed getting the magazines most of all. It will be nice for her to have something in English to read. Her next favorite thing that I sent her was the washcloths. Apparently, they don't use washcloths in Europe. Weird. I sent her about 20 so she should be pretty well stocked up.

I guess there in Liege, most people walk or take a bus to where they need to go and she is getting in lots of walking every day. She says she is losing weight. It sounds like all she is eating is bread and cheese. She says there are bakeries everywhere.

School is going well. In all of her classes except her french class, there are only 10 students per class. It makes it easier to learn and she can have more 1:1 attention if she needs it. The classes are tough but she seems to like them. And yes, her professors teach in english.

I still miss her very much. But its fun to sort of live vicariously when I hear of all her adventures.

So, that's all about Chanel! She's doing fine.

Have a great day.

The blue of her eyes

Well, Sienna's weekend started out pretty rough but she is feeling much better now. She ended the week with the flu.  But she ended the weekend with an almost new car.  Bless her heart.  She has had some struggles this past year.  She was driving a 95 Ford Escort with 200,000 miles on it.  The thing was falling apart.  We have been on the lookout for a car for about 4 months now.  She has been chomping at the bit.  We went to look Saturday.  After the first car dealer, she fell and sprained her ankle and I was just like..okay this may not be what we need to be doing right now. I mean first she's sick, then she can't walk.  We did decide to go to West Side Honda and she cried half way there because her ankle was hurting.  I kept saying, Maybe we should just go home. maybe we shouldn't do this today.  But she insisted and there at West Side Honda was the car of her dreams. Well, maybe I exaggerate a little. But she loved the car. We didn't really spend too much time looking at it because it was too expensive.  But then we got Rick to come back later and he wanted us to consider that car and well, if Rick says its okay, then it must be.  So long story short, after much haggling over two days we got the car!  A 2005 Civic EX SE and the color, as Sienna pointed out, matches her eyes.  Oh!  The best part of the story... Sienna's trusty Escort broke down on her this morning on her way to church of all places.   She was stranded on the highway on her way to church.  The car just sort of died.  So that's when we knew that this absolutely was meant to be. And that we had to buy a car this weekend if at all possible or I was going to have to get up early tomorrow and take her to work and well, I sleep in on Mondays. :) So it would have to be today that we bought one.

So, the flu has passed, her ankle is healed up and she has a car that matches her eyes...it was a great weekend.

Internal struggles

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about 7 years ago though I have had it my entire life.  I have been treated by the top bipolar MD in town and I must say, he has done a fantastic job of regulating my moods. I have been stable for the most part for the last 5 years. I consider myself kind of an expert on bipolar disorder.  Its what I do everyday, help treat bipolar patients.  I read about it all the time, go to conferences about it, and do continuing education about it. I know bipolar disorder. 

The nurse in me and the patient in me are frequently in conflict.  I do take a lot of medicines.  I hear about it from different people, Rick, my parents, my kids. In fact, its kind of embarrassing at times. So, after awhile, I start doubting.  Do I really need all these meds?  People don't really understand how complicated the illness is.  Most people with BPD need to be on a myriad of meds to achieve stability.  I am one of those people.  But dang! I hate taking them.  The nurse in me says, "don't be an idiot, of course you need your meds"  the patient in me says " You're on so much.  You're doing fine, maybe you don't need so much."  So, I have this conflict inside of me all the time. 

Recently, since I am an expert and all, I decided I was going to taper some of my meds (without Dr. Jobson's permission) again.   I know better. Every time I do it, I get the same result but I had to try.  I mean, I am doing so well. The result of this little experiment... not good. I became mean, sad, frustrated. Laughing one minute, yelling the next.  And I just felt anxious and foggy and just out of sorts.  I guess I do still need it.*lightbulb!*  And I am discouraged about that.  I know it is a lifelong illness but I was just hoping that I would be one of the 10% that get better.  Most people with bipolar do what I did over and over throughout their lives.  Usually for the same reasons.   Its just hard to believe that you're ill when you're doing so well.  

Now, after 2 days back on my regular doses, I feel fantastic.  When am I going to learn? 

I think going through this time and time again, I have become a better nurse and that's a plus.  Now, if only  I could just be a better patient! I will work on that. 

Have a very happy Friday tomorrow!

It's Beautiful Women month

Did you know that it's Beautiful Women Month?

Well it is.  Here's to all the beautiful women in my life.

Below is a wonderful poem Audrey Hepburn wrote when asked to share her beauty tips.

It was read at her funeral years later.

For attractive lips,

speak words of kindness....

For lovely eyes,

seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure ,

share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair,

let a child run his fingers through it once a day.

For poise,

walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone...

People, even more than things, have to be restored,

renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed;

never throw out anyone.

Words to live by. 

Have a happy day!

When I'm an old woman...

I read this book called, When I Am and Old Woman, I Shall Wear Purple, when I was in my 20s. Of course at that time in my life, I wasn't really thinking about being an old woman but the story was recommended to me by a close friend of my mom's. I have the poem hanging on my wall in my office right in front of my desk. I read it frequently. It says a lot about who I am now and who I want to be. It goes like this: 

When I'm an Old Woman

         I shall wear purple with a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.

                And I shall spend my pension on brandy

                and summer gloves and satin

                sandals, and say we've no money for butter.

         I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired

                and gobble up samples in shops and press

               alarm bells and run my stick along the public

               railings and make up for the sobriety of my youth.

         I shall go out in my slippers in the rain and

               pick the flowers in other peoples' gardens

               and learn to spit.

         I will wear terrible shirts and grow

                more fat and eat three pounds of sausages

               at a go or only bread and a pickle for

               a week. And hoard pens and pencils

               and beermats and things in boxes.

         But now we must have clothes that

               keep us dry and pay our rent and

               not swear in the street and set a

              good example for the children.

       We will have friends to dinner and

              read the papers. But maybe I ought

              to practice a little now? So people

              who know me are not too shocked

              and surprised when suddenly I am old

       and start to wear purple.

My Funny Valentine

I hope you had a romantic valentine's day. I was reminded yesterday of some of the reasons why I love Rick to be my Valentine every day. He makes me laugh daily. He brings so much joy to my life. Here are just a few of the things I heard from him this week.

We have started watching Lipstick Jungle which has Brooke Shields in it. Rick was commenting on how much Brooke has changed since she's gotten older and I said that of course she's changed, she is about our age. And he said, "You look a lot better than she does." Awwww. What a sweet and funny thing to say. It's ridiculous but sweet just the same.

He has called me his "little, hot buttered biscuit" this week. lol. Whatever that means. I'm glad he can compare me to food since I think food is his second love. lol.

Yesterday, while I was at work, he texted me and said,"Time for you to come home now, my skinny little valentine." I just had to laugh out loud at that one. I'm trying to lose weight and it means alot for him to call me his skinny valentine.

He is always saying things like that, his sense of humor is unique and so good. I love him so much and I don't think its possible to love him any more than I do. I'm a very lucky girl.

Have a happy Friday!

Movin' Out

I tried to put a link in here, but it doesn't look like it works. So I put it over on the side so you can just click over there.

We went last night to see this show. Nobody else really liked it and I was kind of so-so about it during the first act but I LOVED the second act. It was like a ballet to a Billy Joel concert. The dancers were down on stage doing their thing and the band was up above the stage playing Billy Joel songs. The guy who sang the classic Billy Joel songs was incredible! He sounded almost just like him.

The ballet was a great story of a high school kid who gets jilted by the girl he loves for another guy and then he and his best friends join the marines because he has a broken heart. His best friend is killed by gunfire and this kid, Eddie, turns to drugs in his mourning. So it goes all through the whole hitting the bottom thing. Finally, he comes out of it after a nightmare about the war and about death. He gets his act together and ends up with his best friend's widow. And everyone lives happily ever after. At least, that was my interpretation of the show. There wasn't actually any talking in the play. The only vocalization was from the guy singing.

I really loved the show. I guess I could really appreciate the talent of the dancers because of my girls being in dance when they were younger. I know how hard you have to work to be good and wow, these guys were good.

The others, Don, Leeann, and Rick, were kind of bored throughout the show. I thought after intermission that they would want to leave but we didn't and I am so glad we stayed.
There were a couple of vulgar scenes that would have been fine if there weren't 8 yr. old kids sitting right behind us. But the scenes were only about 5 minutes. So I would advise not taking your kids to see this show.

All in all, we had a wonderful time last night. As we always do when we are with our dearest friends.

Yesterday was a wonderful day. We got our new huge desks at work. Dr. Robertson agreed to hire one more staff person after he had about decided not to. I was beginning to wonder if I would be able to take my two vacations in April but I think we have come to an understanding. So I'm relieved about that.

Sienna was nominated for employee of the month. I'm so proud of her! She is at a good point in her life and I am happy for her.

We went to a scrapbook crop last night and it was so fun. We made some new friends and Leeann and I had a chance to catch up and just chat for 5 hours. It was great. I was thinking about the crop this morning and I realized that when we were asked questions by others last night, that Leeann and I answered collectively. We don't like...., we plan to...., we like...., we are going to..., Its really kind of funny. We just like to do things together. Rick calls us "LisaAnn". We met a lady who has a lot of our same interests. Her name is Shar. She's a 4th grade teacher and a Disney fanatic. We had a good time getting to know her.

And...Drum Roll please... Chanel called me this morning!! It was SO good to hear her voice. She has gotten a cell phone. She needs it to keep up with all the friends she is making. She has friends from Finland, Brazil, Italy and Canada and of course, Belgium. I knew it wouldn't take her long. It was actually kind of difficult keeping up with the conversation because she kept lapsing into French. She really picks up on languages quickly. Rick thinks she was just showing off but I don't think so. I think she is just so used to hearing French all day, it just seems more natural to her now. She does comment on how expensive it is over there. The dollar is way down over there so everything seems twice as expensive. I hope she doesn't run out of money. She plans to go to Germany this weekend for Carnival which is their Mardi Gras. She has all sorts of plans to travel all over Europe. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to live in Europe and I am so excited for her.

So that has been my weekend so far. Can't wait to see what else might happen.

Have a happy Saturday!